A Little Girl Will Have a Forever Family Next Month - rejoicing with friends in their adoption

Sitting at breakfast during a consultation last past week, I became acquainted with a new friend who is completing an adoption in Ethiopia. In fact, he and his wife hope to pick up their daughter from an orphanage in Addis Ababa next month. They are so excited that after a year of waiting, the day of her coming home has finally drawn near. I rejoice with them and join them in prayer for this great day. 

In the course of our adoption journey, we have met many adopting couples and rejoice with each of them in the growth of their families. What makes this story different from the adoption stories of many of our friends is that Anwar and his wife are Ethiopian. They are part of a small, but growing number of Ethiopians pursuing domestic adoption. This is a great thing in helping more children  know the love and security of a forever family.

Domestic adoption plays a vital role in caring for the children whose lives have been disrupted through the loss of parents through disease, poverty, war and the realities of a broken of our world. International adoption agencies lead much of the work in in-country adoption and in-country adoption awareness overseas. My friend and his wife are in fact conducting their adoption with the help of an international adoption agency. 

Recently, our own agency, America World, shared this photo of an ad they sponsor in Addis Ababa promoting in-country adoption. 

Earlier this year, much was written about the “market” created by foreign adoption that fuels corruption in the system. First, let me be clear, all corruption must be eradicated wherever it is found. However, corruption is not the norm. Most adoption agencies want to care for kids, who through the circumstances of their lives are now up for adoption. Parents motivated out of love, no matter whether from within the country or from without, have a great love for that child they will adopt. It is so great to see these agencies partnering with parents - international and in-country - to provide loving families to children. Far from a "market," most involved with adoption really do want to care for kids as best as they can.

For us this is a long process with lots of waiting.This morning, we met with our case worker to update our home study and renew several items of paperwork.  As we talked with her, updated and confirmed things about our family that have happened in the last year, it continued to make us think of this little one out there.

 Beyond that, there is not much new to report. Our paperwork has been in Addis Ababa for about a year. It could be up to two more - or we could receive a call tomorrow. We don’t know. But we do know that we love this little person already - whoever they might be and look forward to a time, like Anwar and his wife, when we are counting the days until that special someone’s arrival.

For now we wait - and celebrate with friends in their time of joy!

A Feast and a Fast

Our Feast: This week, our family celebrated Ethiopian Christmas for the second time since entering the adoption process. Becky made defo dabo (Ethiopian Christmas bread) doro wat (chicken with spices) and two lentil dishes. She even braved her own injera for the meal. Everything was wonderful – and her injera was quite tasty. I may be biased, but my wife is a very good cook when it comes to Ethiopian food.

This year, friends joined us for the celebratory meal who have adopted from Ethiopia. Their daughter gave Becky full marks for her execution of an authentic Ethiopian meal and shared a few tips she remembers from cooking, even as a very young child. It was so fun to hear their stories of life and travels in Ethiopia as we enjoyed the food and celebrate Christmas together.

Our Ethiopian Christmas feast is one more way we are continuing to learn about Ethiopian culture. In doing so, our hearts are drawn more and more to this wonderful nation and its rich history and culture. We continue to pray for this person, whoever they may
be, who will, God willing, be part of our family soon. Melkam Gena!

The Fast: No sooner has our Ethiopian Feast wrapped up then we are turning our attention to an Ethiopian fast.  Over the next few days, many involved in international adoptions in Ethiopia will pray and fast about the future of adoption within the country. From January 9-11 government leaders will meet to consider reforms and changes to the intercountry adoption system.

The government has published a research paper commenting on the gaps within the current adoption laws of the country. Having read the 44 page document, none of the concerns are new and some of the solutions seem obvious (see comments and thoughts below). However, at the same time, group, with a variety of motivations has also started to call for the end of international adoptions. Over the next few days, many will join in fasting and prayer for the meetings, the country of Ethiopia and our own pursuit of a call to adopt..

Our agency has posted the following prayer items. I would also add prayers for all of the families, like our own, who are in the midst of this journey. If you are willing, please join us in this prayer:

·      Praying for Ethiopian government officials to be convicted of the need children have to grow up in a family and for international adoptions to remain open;

·      Praying for advocates in Ethiopia and around the world to speak up on behalf of orphans and vulnerable children;

·      Praying for an end to any corruption, deceit, inappropriate work regarding adoption;

·      Praying for prospective adoptive families who are anxiously awaiting news of the Ethiopian government’s decision;

·      Praying for wisdom and guidance for our agency staff as we seek to respond wisely to whatever news we hear from Ethiopian officials.

Thoughts on the complexity of Adoption:

Comments on the Paper Concept and Procedure of Adoption Services, The challenges and other alternatives.

The paper, prepared by the Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs, traces the history and current status of adoption in Ethiopia.  It documents gaps and challenges within the current system and proposes action steps, and particularly alternatives to adoption within Ethiopia. The entire document is available at www.awaa.org.

From my experience in the adoption community, most are motivated by some of the values expressed in the paper. First and foremost, the belief that children thrive best when raised within the framework of the family. This is in keeping with the biological design of the human race, as well as in keeping with the descriptions we receive of God as Father – and in having maternal care for His people. However, due to a variety of circumstances (which Christians would consider the result of the fall), many children are denied this opportunity. According to the paper, in 2006 the number of full orphans (without both biological parents) in Ethiopia exceeded 3.5 million. Many agencies list the total orphan number closer to 5 million. Orphans make up about 5% of the population in Ethiopia. To give perspective, if they were a city in the US, the number of orphans in Ethiopia would rank third behind only New York and Los Angeles (within official city limits) and would have more residents than the metropolitan areas of Minneapolis, Denver or St. Louis . Ethiopia has a significant orphan challenge.

When life within the biological family is not possible, the next best is an alternative permanent family. When possible, domestic adoption, whether by relatives or by unrelated families. This belief motivates most adoptive families. They genuinely feel called to extend their family to another child, bringing them fully into their home, their life and extending every right and obligation as a permanent member of the family.

Community based care is a very good alternative that keeps children within their larger cultural communities and provides support for the child so that they can grow and thrive despite a lack of family resources.  The work of Compassion, World Vision and other similar organizations maximize this model to provide quality care for children (not just orphans, but families who cannot meet all the basic needs of life). Such models provide holistic care for children in ways that keep them from having to enter into institutions.

Institutional care (orphanages) are the least desirable. The challenges of children raised in institutions are well documented – and known popularly through many of movies and stories (think Annie, Despicable Me, Meet the Robinsons, to name a few my kids have seen recently). Orphanages in many nations are rife with problems. Many are run well, with loving staff and quality care. In every one, children long for a permanent home and, what our agency calls a “forever family”.

The paper delineates a number of challenges in the current system and laws. Corruption, notably the deceptive recruitment (or even outright stealing of children) for adoption has received considerable attention in the last several years. Tightening of laws to verify orphan status and explore all familial adoption possibilities prior to adoption are one reason the process is so slow.

Critics of adoption say the practices itself fuels the corruption and has led to the creation of an “adoption industry” and the creation of orphanages, not for the care of children, but simply to meet adoptive needs.  

Many of the challenges listed in the paper related to the lack of control and oversight exercised by the Ethiopian government over the adoption process. In addition, the adoption laws, though recently revised still do not specifically address a number of items. Examples contained in the paper include:

·      The lack of stipulation for minimum and maximum ages of adoptive parents. They give the example of 70 year olds adopting infants whom they will not live long enough to raise into adulthood and 25 year olds adopting 17 year olds. 

·      The lack of stated economic capacities of adoptive parents as raising children is expensive.

·      The fact that no minimum length of stay is legislated when parents meet their adoptive children as is done in some other nations.

·      Laws do not adequately address issues of married and unmarried parents or the number of total children and adoptive couple might have.

·      Concern for cultural identity is also addressed.

The paper concludes with a priority for domestic adoptions and community based care. Orphanages are reiterated as the least desirable option.

The challenge of orphans in Ethiopia (and the world) is complex. The numbers can be staggering. Consequently, the solutions will require efforts on multiple fronts. Many of the items outline in the paper can be fixed with simple legislation. Greater oversight and regulation will be good when it prevents corruption in the system. I whole heartedly agree with the promotion of domestic adoption and encouraging greater care for vulnerable children from within communities. Such endeavors are not at odds with intercountry adoption.

Eliminating international adoption, however, does not alleviate the problems described in the paper. International adoption is one tool in the kit to addressing the issue of millions of orphans in Ethiopia. When done well (and I believe quite a few organizations are doing it well), international adoption can help promote the reforms needed to address the gaps in orphan care in Ethiopia. Many in international adoption are considerable advocates for the care of children – not just those adopted into their own families, but also those who remain in need of care – by communities, and, we pray, one day with forever families.

We can and should continue to educate adoptive families on Ethiopian culture, maintaining connections to that culture and raising adopted children with a real sense of identity to their cultural and national heritage. This is possible in international adoption.

Corruption in the adoption system is a serious problem. We must do everything to eliminate it. Yes, the corruption comes because there is money involved. However, eliminating adoptions still leaves millions of orphans in need of care.  Institutional care and their challenges will not simply disappear. Exploitation will not disappear. We live in a broken world. Abuse has happened in adoptive families – but abuse sadly happens in biological families as well. Such issues remain in all forms of orphan care – domestic adoption, community care and international adoption. All three groups can and should work together, for the sake of the children. They are the ones who matter in this conversation.

Left unaddressed in the paper are the broader societal issues that also play a role in the orphan challenge of Ethiopia (and so many other places). Societal changes, poverty and disease are contributing factors to the need for orphan care. These issues obviously extend beyond the scope of direct adoption reform, but they speak to the need for reflective holistic approaches to complex problems. These, too, are issues that require prayer and thoughtful action. These, too, are issues for which we must advocate in our care and concern for the children –and for the nation.

So over the next few days, we will wait and pray for the nation – for the lawmakers – and most of all for the millions of children who need to be loved by families, just as they are loved by their heavenly Father. May they, each one, know that love tangibly.